#also don't mind the feels :D
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Information
I am bored and so decided to go write a little thing on this as I had an idea again.
First Drabble over here. original prompt by @spotaus
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Next Drabble in chronological order here
This one is around the time after the gang met back up again to return to Nightmare but found the castle starting to collapse. about a week after they left.
Also, apology in advance. I slightly re-did the story of Dream and Nightmare. Just to fit it me more. The original story you can find with Jokublog as their original creator.
Warning, unbeta'ed and unedited as always lmao
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Dust sighs as he glances around the empty and dark halls. The whole castle so far had been empty and deserted.
Because they had deserted him. They had betrayed him. They had-
Dust shakes the thoughts and familiar voice out of his skull. No time. They need to find somekind of clue.
Dust looks from side to side as he thinks. The four of them had searched the bottom floor together but found nothing. Horror had split up to search the forest and gardens. Cross went to search all storage rooms. Killer had went to search the basement and cellar.
Which left the normal rooms for Dust to search.
And he had found nothing. Dust groans as he slides to the ground. Where he just sits for a moment.
It didn't make sense. Because Dust had noticed stuff being gone from their rooms. Dust know one of his old hoodies disappeared but it would be the first time they had a laundry mishap. But the other rooms it felt like stuff had been missing.
But there were no signs of breakins or anything. Nothing that suggested that anyone had been here. Which probably won't be for long.
With how difficult it had been for them to even get back here... It is obvious that the magic keeping everything together and hidden is failing.
It is a matter of time before the universe is no longer hidden and then the Stars will come and mess things up even more.
Which... Nightmare most likely realised. And so he left...
Dust groans as he covers his face and thinks. Fuck. They didn't even know what was affecting boss. What had been causing him to grow weaker and younger. To cause him to lose his powers.
And they FUCKING left! Like fucking assholes and ungrateful little shits!
No wonder Nightmare decided to leave as soon as he realised this universe was a lost cause.
Dust sighs as he looks around the hall before his sight stops at one last door. The door he hadn't dared to enter.
It is stupid.
It isn't like they had been good followers before. With them just abandoning the person who had saved them from their own dying AUs as soon as he lost power.
Yet it felt disrespectful to just enter his room.
Dust shakes his skull again and gets up. He marches over to the door and pauses. He raises his hand and knocks.
No answer.
Dust waits for a moment before knocking again, a tiny bit louder.
Still no answer. Dust still waits before trying the door. He isn't sure if he wants it too open or be locked.
The door opens.
Dust stays still for a moment before pushing the door fully open. The room is dark and empty nad Dust makes sure to check all hiding places.
But still nothing.
Dust sighs before aglimmer of silver catches his eye. He tilts his skull and walks over to the bed. On it lays a shining silver band. Dust hums as he studies it and rubs some of the old dust and grim off of it. only to reveal a crescent moon.
Dust stares at it for a long time. It... it kinda looks like the crown simular to Dream's but it is so much smaller. It looks so much more fragile and dull. Dust takes a seat on the bed as he rubs the soft metal. It is clearly old. Very old. But it seems cared for.
Why... Why would he leave it?
Dust looks around the room again and stops to stare at one of the bedside tables. The drawer isn't completely shut. He pulls it over and immediantly sees that a false bottom has been removed and not bother to be put back. Dust looks at the crown and the drawer before testing it out.
The crown fits perfectly in the drawer and once shut you wouldn't even see it unless you knew it was there. He removes the crown again before turning quickly to the other bedside table. Dust dive crawls over the bed and reaches the other side.
He opens the drawer and removes all the pens and papers and notes from it. It seems to be notes on possible universes for them to raid and notes on what to pick up from where. Small 'to do' lists. The drawer is soon empty and he feels around it.
Click.
Another false bottom pops open and Dust grins as the removes it. Only for the grin to fall as all he can see is an old fairytale book. Dust puts the drawer piece to the side and takes out the book.
It is old. Older than any of Nightmare's books in his library. Older than the castle now looks. Even broken and falling apart.
Dust sits back upright and crosses his legs as he lays the book in his lap. The cover shows a large tree with a female like figure next to it. Golden letters at the top spell out DreamTale.
Dust freezes before he quickly opens the picture book and starts reading.
It is like a childrens tale. A fairytale.
A young powerful woman by the name of Nim. The keeper of emotions who spreads them across the multiverse. Who prefers her privacy. Positive and negative send out as equals and spread where there is a need.
A man. A mortal. Bold and brass. Greedy for things not his. Goes to her and demands a power he has no right to. A fight happens and Nim wins. But the cost is high.
She has been hurt. Hurt by the mortal who she had to kill. The mortal who forced her to bloody her hands. Make her guilty of a crime she never wanted to commit. With her last power she tries to create a way to continue. A way to exist. Before her, two spirts appear.
One is a golden light made of hope and dreams. positivity shines out as the spirit seems happy already. Nim smiles at them and names them Dream. As the little spirit already seems to be a dreamer and a being of hope. A name fitting for the small spirit.
A second spirit, she hadn't expected, takes form moments after the first and Nim pauses. She ends up naming this one Nightmare, only because they seem to be the oposite of Dream in ever way with their dimmer light and purple colour.
Dust stops and frowns "Wow lady. Talk about clear favouritism with your children." Dust frowns as he traces the picture of two small balls of light in the hands of the woman, Nim.
He shakes his skull and continues reading. For how old the book looks it isn't that long.
Nim felt her time nearing its end and searches the multiverse for a vessel to fit her children. Something that can withstand their magic and beings.
Many failures as he desperation hightens and hightens. Until she comes across a skeleton who just shines out with briliant positivity. She doesn't think and uses the last of her powers to recreate that form for her children.
Nim becomes one with her tree as her children begin to move their new bodies. Young and new to the world. Only been made days before. But they have one another and the tree.
Dust glares "Are you kidding me? You give them just... bodies which clearly only fit one of your sons?! What the hell lady?" Dust takes a deep breath before continuing to read. Why doesn't the multiverse know this? Most of their stories are known across it by now.
Neither Dream nor Nightmare know what to do. Both are young and only just been born. Luckily their mother is still with them to guide them. She warns them away from mortals and tells her children it is now their duty to protect her and her tree. But most important the apples that grow from it.
The golden and purple apples. The golden apples will cure any illness and body harm. While the purple apples will heal any magical illness and mental harm.
Nim tells them again and these apples can not be given away as they also hold the key to keeping the multiverse in balance concerning positivity and negativity. That Dream can only touch and pick the golden apples and Nightmare can only touch and pick the purple ones.
But that they should never eat one. Never.
Both the children look up at their mother before nodding. They promise they will do their job and duty and protect her and her apples.
Dust huffs "Wow. Child labor now lady? You are so getting the mother of the year award." he continues reading.
Time passes as Dream and Nightmare stay with the tree. The live and sleep under it and relax near it. That is until the settlers come and people make a village nearby. Nim reminds them again that mortals are not to be trusted.
Dream however wishes to meet them. See who they are and make friends. Nightmare tries to convince his twin to stay near the tree. They job is to guard it and make sure no one tries to take the apples. Dream reassures Nightmare that he can do that by himself before going down to the village.
The villagers are quick to adore Dream. It is no surprise after all. Dream radiates an aura that makes those around him happy and he is happy to help. He goes to the village daily to help around and make friends.
Nightmare however is more distrustful. He remains near the tree and makes sure no one tries to take from it. The villagers are unhappy wiht him. How dare he keep the treasures of the tree to himself. He tries to explain he can't give them the apples but the villagers are quick to leave.
Dream reinforces the rule that no one can be given an apple and the villagers seem to accept this easier.
It continues on. The village keeps expanding quickly and Nightmare shares his worry that they will eventually hurt their tree and mother. Dream nods and promises his brother he will talk with the villagers.
The villagers do not stop expanding but instead gift Dream a large cape with his symbol of the sun on it. To wrap around the tree to reinforce it is special and no one is allowed to cut it.
Nightmare and Dream happily work together to secure it around the tree.
As Dream grows more and more loved by all those around him Nightmare grows more distrusted and shunned. The villagers agree him to be a bad omen and if something bad happens it must be his fault. After all, Dream is the one who helps them and makes them happy. That must mean that Nightmare is the source of what is bad.
Nightmare tries to explain this isn't the case but no one listens. He tries to explain to Dream what the villagers say but Dream just tells him to spend more time with them and get to know them.
Words change into actions. But Nightmare stays quiet. It is no use. And he doesn't wish to make his brother sad.
Wounds and broken bones are eaisly hidden by long sleeves and excuses are easy to make up. Nightmare doens't like lying but no one beleives his truths anyway. His mother reminds him that mortals are not to be trusted but try to keep Dream happy.
It all comes down to one faithful day. Nightmare begs his brother to stay with the tree but Dream had been promised a nice cup of tea from one of his friends.
Dream promises Nightmare he will return quickly after the tea.
Dream drinks it and feels sleepy soon after.
As Dream rests the villagers band together to take what they are owned. After all. They have lived her for so long and that terrible Nightmare refused to share the apples and forbid Dream from sharing them as well.
Nightmare sees them coming and reminds them again. He isn't allowed to give them the apples. As he had reminded them for the last six years of his short life-
"Six?!" Dust stares at the word. Soul beating fast. Six. They had been six. Nightmare had been six! Those... those disgusting creatures saw a babybones. a six year old and younger before that. and decided he was a horrible creature?
Dust has to take deep breaths to calm his racing soul and thundering magic. It is no use. Contain it for now. Read. Learn. Plan. Then act.
Dust quickly finds the spot where he had left off.
As he had reminded them for the last six years of his short life. He isn't allowed to share the golden apples. He can give them a purple apple-
But as soon as he offers the villagers grow more angry. How dare he try and hurt them with those harmful apples?! The apples that no doubt will cause harm and poison them!?
Nightmare was confused and unsure what to say. None of the apples cause harm. They all have ways to help someone in their own way. They just also help the multiverse as a whole. Nightmare steels his nerves and hides his fear as he repeats what he alwyas said 'I can't pick the golden apples for you. I am not allowed. Please leave.' after which he turns and returns towards the tree.
This is when a village grabs their chance. They grab a large rock and bring it down on Nightmare's skull.
It caves nad Nightmare falls down. His head hurts and he can't seen. His soul cries out for his twin. Brother. Brother where are you? Why aren't you back. You promised. You promised me.
Nightmare watches as the villagers near the tree. His mother asking and begging him to help her. That the villagers are killing her and that Nightmare needs to do something to defend her.
Nightmare doens't know what to do. he is afraid. He will die. an apple falls near him. a golden one. and in desperation he grabs it.
The golden apple's colour changes from the beautiful gold to a sickly black. it drips and shimmers. it smells sour and feels wrong. But Nightmare is afraid. He doesn't want to die. and selfishly. Eats the apple.
Dust glares "Selfish?! Selfish?!" he seethes as he looks away from the words and back to the drawing. It looks like a pencil drawing and Dust feels slightly ill. because most of his skull is done in the drawing. the crown broken and dented next to him as the rock caused most of the tiny skull to break. his whole right side is done until just above the mouth. the broken broken edge continues right over the nose bridge and just barely misses the left socket before going all the way around.
The top of his skull had been gone.
Those... They... a six year old. a babybones.
Dust's sockets find the next line and continues on.
Once he starts to eat he can't stop. As Nightmare's own negative emotions and being had infected the pure positivity that the apples were made of. As Nightmare ate the apple all of his own negative emotions came back to him. all the pain he had felt. all the anger, sadness, loneliness and betrayal. All of it came to him and it covered him.
Selfishly, Nightmare felt safe for the first time in a while. uncaring that the very thing protecting him. Would become the undoing of everyone.
Instead of just acceptance Nightmare chose the path of destruction. Once he ate one apple he could not stop himself. He ate and ate and ate.
This is when Dream wakes up. To screams on the couch of his dear friend. He looks outside and sees the tree on fire. He rushes outside and runs towards their hill. towards his brother and mother.
Only to see the damage his brother had caused-
"Are you kidding me?!" Dust glares "It wasn't his fucking fault! Why!? How!? Why faulting him when all he did was try to finally protect himself?! To finally fight back against the abuse?! To... to... fight... the fate this stupid multiverse gave him and... and..."
To... break out of his prison... to escape...
No wonder Nightmare grabbed all of them... No wonder he freed them... and what did they do? They left him alone when he needed help.
Dust shakes and ignores the fact his own view is getting misty.
Only to see the damage his brother had caused. Dream has shocked. He had always defended his brother when the villages were rude about him. Always said that his brother was jsut shy and needed patience. only for his brother to do the very thing the villagers had said he would. That Nightmare would destroy them all.
Dream stood frozen at the edge of the field. The hill covered in the dead and blooding bodies by the cut down form of his dying mother. Dream couldn't hear any words in their mother's panicked and pained screaming.
He runs forwards and reaches for her. A hand touches his shoulder and Dream turns only to be meet with a horrifying image of a black melting creature. In his panic he strikes out and hits the being in the face.
The creature takes a few steps back before raises a hand to touch the spot where he had been hit. Dream looks up afraid before his soul gives a panicked pulse. Finally seeing just who it was and who he accidentally hit in his panic.
Dust huffs "Oh yeah. excuse all of his actions because he is afraid yet punish Nightmare for it. Real good story telling there narator."
Nightmare, now corrupted, pauses before turning back to the tree that had been cut down, their dying mother. And pulls off another apple before he eats it as he stares at his brother 'Well look at that. The betrayer finally showed up. Had enough of leaving your brother to deal with everything alone? With the pain on his own? Wanted to hurt him yourself I see.'
Dream shakes as he holds out a hand 'Nightmare. Nightmare please. stop this. this isn't you.'
Nightmare tilts his skull at his brother. negativity dripping of his form. No longer hurting from physical wounds. all that burns through him is rage. Dream had left him. Dream had never been there for him. Ngihtmare smirks. 'You finally decided to see what your brother is doing? What is wrong? Wanted to make sure your dear friends had time to hurt him first? As always? Because he deserved it?'
Dream shakes 'I don't understand... why...' something hits his foot. Dream looks down and sees another apple. another golden apple. He reaches for it and picks it up. Unlike with Nightmare it doesn't get corrupted. Dream's being is perfect for the positivity and the healing it provides.
Nightmare eyes the apple before looking at Dream 'Give me that.'
Dream shakes his skull and hugs the apply close. Only for his soul to absorb the positivity. Nightmare glares but ends up laughing loudly. Dream takes a few steps back but Nightmare just smirks 'Fitting. Even when your own brother is dying you will defend those stupid villagers first.'
Dream shakes as the apple is now part of him and part of his soul 'Dying? Nighty... please i don't understand.'
Nightmare doesn't react as he turns towards the village, where more ligths are on 'That is because you never listened.' and Nightmare left towards the village. To hurt those.
Dream tried to follow but the negativity around him made him weak. The negativity his brother caused and powered made him lose his powers. With shock he realised that he was turning to stone. Dream tried to reach for his brother. To call for him.
But nobody came.
It isn't until many many years later that Dream breaks free of his stone prison. One of his old villagers friends helps him out fo the stone and tells him all abuot how Nightmare had destroyed everything in a fit of jealous rage.
Dream shakes and says it must be something else. that Ngihty would never. He begs that it must have been the apple. That eating the apple corrupted him. That the corruption must have destroyed him and taken over and done all those terrible things.
His friend asks him what he plans to do now.
Dream thinks before deciding that he will find a way to fix the corruption. the cure Nightmare and fix all the wrongdoings he has done.
The years that follow Dream grows into a formiddable warrior of light and hope. Someone who holds the care for everyone in his soul and meant to battle the darkness. Dream promises himself that he will save his brother from the corruption and makes sure everyone has their chance for a happy future.
The end
Dust stares at it. What about the balance? What about the fact that Nim clearly set one up for success and the other for failure.
What about the fact that Nightmare had been six and had been abused for years on end until that tiny six your old broke under the pressure.
That that same corruption everyone feared was the one thing keeping him safe and giving him power?
Dust stares at the pages for a long time. Things starting to shift around in his mind as a clearer picture starts to form.
"Dusty? Are you here? Found anything?"
Dust traces the crown and feels a small dent and finds the fixed cracks.
All this time he had been working on the balance and trying to right his own wrongs. That had never been wrongs, at least not in Dust's opinion. The wrongs a desperate child made o finally feel safe.
And the very multiverse and fate decided to punish him for it.
Dust's grip tightens on the crown. And they had abandoned him. As soon as his powers started to leave. No doubt the magic of the apples reaching their limits. As soon as Nightmare started to return to his original form. They abandoned him.
Nightmare is somewhere in the multiverse. As the original version of himself. the version he was before he ate the apples. six years old and probably hurt.
Woudl he even have his memories?
"Dust?"
Dust looks up from the book and sees three familiar faces in the doorway. Cross frowns as he takes a few steps closer "You are... crying."
Dust doens't bother to fix it as he feels the book "Nightmare... Nightmare was never an adult."
Shock as Killer is suddenly by his side "Waht the fuck do you mean?"
Dust just hands both the book and crown over as he speaks "He was suposed to be six." he nods at the book "See that name? Notice any specific pattern?"
Killer stares "Dreamtale-" he stops and stares at them as he points from person to person "Dusttale, Dust. Horrortale, Horror. X-tale, Cross." Killer stops and stares down "Dreamtale..."
Dust nods "I don't think... I don't think Nightmare was ever originally meant to leave his story."
Killer opens the book and starts reading. Dust sees Horror and Cross join him as well. That is okay. Dust needs a moment.
They are going to have to find him before Nightmare finishes referting back to his real age. Dust does not want to know if those wounds that he had had would remain.
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First. Prev. Next.
#RealAgeAU#UTMV#Nightmare sans#Dust sans#Killer sans#Horror Sans#Cross Sans#bad sanses#team as family#drabble#fanfiction#fanfic#So that were the necessery tags#i think#Reverse adoption techncially but also Uno adoption#When your minions decide now it is time to adopt you after you adopted them first#twice over foudn family#Look man they are all dealing with it but they are going to make it work.#Because they are stubborn and I love that for them.#There is zero planning with these four and I love that for them :D#also don't mind the feels :D#continued whenever i feel like it.#I have more ideas for drabbles but i don't want to burn myself out so maximum of one a day!#maybe...#Depends on how i feel#realageau
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feast (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello....#i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is#completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo#but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei#travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point.#humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on#& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas.#theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve#done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but#in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise#since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times#if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess#ruporas art
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Even stardust shimmers, darling 🌟 (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Loop#ISaT spoilers#Mostly inspired by The Star of Your Dreams tbh <3 There'll be more after this as well haha#Will I ever give any Sif two eyebrows?#Not as long as they've got the one eye!#I also don't know why it just feels more correct to leave the expression ''blank'' I guess#Anyway Sif!Loop is a massive cutie and I'm fully drawn in by them looking Just Similar Just Different from him hehe#Sparkle-shaped scar! Yes absolutely#The robe is 100% Star of Your Dreams lol - I know they're obscured by their pose and it's dark but also sheer?? Their modesty??? Lol#Comfy PJs underneath - personally I saw the robe in my mind's eye as getting more sheer the closer to the extremities it got#So fully opaque over the body and very organza and see-through around the wrists and ankles and so on#Either's cute tho ♪#Differentiating Loop with a sleeveless is also excellent ah <3 Show off the arms! The sparkles!#Which can be taken as Fine and Not painful if you wanted :') I don't but it's fine it's fine lol#They're just sparkly! It doesn't mean anything else! ;;#They really are quite cute <3#Tired or smarmy there's no in-between lol#Their eyes really are fun to draw mismatched in more than just pupil :D
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Running into a dating dilemma issue I have not encountered in quite some time. Starting talking to two different people on an app at around the same time, went on a date with one of them last Saturday. It went surprisingly well, even fooled around a little for the first time in a long while. We have a second date at an arcade planned for this Sunday.
Other person was a little slower on the draw (not as timely with responses) and has offered to meet up this Friday. They seem nice enough, but now I'm kind of focused on the first person- but obviously that connection is also still in the exploratory stages and there are no guarantees that anything else will happen with them. I'm not great at dividing my attention when I'm interested in someone but I also don't want to count any chickens before they hatch (the chickens in this case being a meaningful or at least ongoing sexual relationship 🐣)
So the dilemma is: do I still go on the date with person #2? The way I see it I have three options- agree to the date and see where it goes, decline the date, or put it off until next week and see how I feel after the second date with the guy that I already met. I feel like I should make a choice soon but I truly don't know which one 😬
#here friends take your mind off of the world burning for a moment by reading about my dumb dating problems#dating nonsense#dating dilemma#and yes I know there's no rule saying I can't date both#but I have limited energy and attention for this sort of thing#if I'm into you I tend to get all in on it#i don't really like sharing it's exhausting to me#I'm thinking maybe the 'put it off until next week to see how I feel then' option but is that just the coward's choice?#really just kinda hoping that sunday arcade date with R goes well#and that maybe I get to touch that buuuuuuttt#and then cuddle naked and watch xena with him some more#might also be a little focused because he pulled a couple of dom-ish moves without me having to specifically ask and that made me 😍😍😍#and he was able to lift me??? when I was straddling him on my couch#which was a delightful surprise#but can't let the rose colored glasses descend just because he slapped my ass and pulled my hair a little and called me a good girl 🫠#he is the first person I've actually invited to my place since D though#who I have been texting with occasionally while all of this is also going because my feelings are not complicated enough as it is 🙄
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Color Legend: Pink prompts are kink related Dark Red prompts are gore related Black / uncolored are general or both
I made a personal prompt list for october :]] I obviously won't do it all but I'll try my best !
#idk what characters to draw so feel free to send some in my askbox (no ocs please :[ if were mutuals then it's okay !)#you can join if you want you don't have to tag me or anything#you can also add or change prompts etc i dont mind :D this is just my list#ill make up a tag on the spot uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#gorekinktober2023#? idk im not creative enough akfjbah#frambling...?
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Not me brainstorming ideas for my post op tattoo (context) like I'd contact the tattoo artist tomorrow and not in a 1,5 year or more
This was where my inspiration took me today I guess :'D
#bold of me going for colour in most of these since none of my other things have colour x'D#after all this is only what ideas I have rn :'D#as mentioned I don't think I'll be able to get a chest tattoo for at least one year and a half#in half a year I've been promised to start appointments with a therapist again about the surgery#then if I'm lucky I'll get approved#and then there's a waitlist on at least a year last I heard#and then I need to heal a bit first#so when we arrive at that point in time who knows if I've better ideas#or if I've changed my mind#I hope to have käärijä in my life for years to come still#or at least feel the same sort of gratitude for him showing me how to love my body and/or feel neutral about it when dysphoria hits#look at me being chatty in the tags yet again#also - these are of course only concepts#I will probably have send the reference picture as well to the tattoo artist if I actually went to find one to do these tomorrow x'D#I hope you like them :3#I really enjoy number 2 (top left) and 3 (mid)#jere pöyhönen#käärijä#cha cha cha#mine#my own art
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Was reminded of something by a friend, and now I'm thinking again about how if it weren't for a friend that I follow posting an art piece of Doc Ock that I happened to see the night it was posted..
Acedia and my whole Spiderverse wouldn't even exist. Cuz if it weren't for them posting that.. I wouldn't have become weirdly attached to Doc Ock and make my first little doodle(s) that eventually evolved into my own version of Doc Ock.. and then evolved into me remembering Spidersonas.... making Acedia... remembering tssm.. watching it and solidifying my obsession... and so on and so on--
So yeah. Anyways, thanks to @nb-n0v4 for doing that and giving me such a brainrot that was actually mostly my own doing for stoking the flame repeatedly.
I don't even remember what picture it was exactly that they drew, so I can't look for it (I did try, tho. I wanna say it was the white suit, but I could be wrong), but it was just enough to get my brain going again to get creative again and draw even more than I did before.
#ghostie mumbles#I feel like I could take that one domino effect meme and just.. smallest domino: nova drawing doc ock. largest domino: my entire spiderverse#LOL itself actually kinda funny tbh#also hi nova if you see this cuz i @'d you hii 👋 hope you don't mind the random mention#anyways what a way to start the day by getting a little oddly sentimental.
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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It's been like a week since I watched it and I'm still digesting Transformers One
#Keep in mind the only other pieces of TF media I've ever consumed are the 1986 movie where optimus fucking dies and bumblebee 2018.#so I can say with some authority that I 'don't go here' and I'm approaching canon as an outsider#But how did the writers and director WANT me to feel about the ending? Like actually.#Am I supposed to bummed out JUST because D-16 and Orion Pax as we know them are dead? and their friendship unsalvagable?#Sure. But beyond that. I couldn't shake the discomfort that Cybertron remains a theocracy.#Optimus was given absolute power by robot god. There was no popular consensus. There is still a major physical power imbalance between#primes and all other transformers. Even though Optimus might have only the purest of intentions I cannot celebrate his victory.#The cybertronian political system needs a complete overhaul and separation of church and state.#The movie ended and I was left with a sinking feeling that there were pressing issues that were not being addressed.#All is not right in Iacon City. And I don't know if I was supposed to pick up on that or not.#Am I giving this PG toy commercial movie too much credit? Probably. But part of me thinks we were supposed to notice.#idk. pretty good movie. also bumblebee was there#ayy im talking here
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In honor of all the ruoyao that's been happening to me recently (thank you for that :'D), I'm just gonna share a thought bc I kept on thinking about this ask.
We are gonna frankencanon a little and put MY's reaction in the context of the novel. So what if, the reason why MY was indeed so shocked when he kiiled WRH was bc he truly didn't think he was going to kill WRH?
It was a life or death situation, NMJ was getting killed right in front of him, and he simply acted like he did in Langya, except that instead of hurting himself, he instinctively went for the person that had to be stopped and he honest to god believed that just a qin string was not going to be enough to actually kill someone like WRH.
He was probably already weaving all the many excuses and shifting of blame for when sect leader recovered from the injury, bc surely his cultivation was just so crazy high that it would start healing even before the string could get past the layers of skin tissue. MY was at least going to buy them some time, and Wen-zongzhu trusted him so much, MY just had to be extra convincing and probably find a good escape goat--
Except there's blood everywhere. WRH is looking at him with absolute heartbreak, and just a second later, he's lying on the floor. Unmoving
It makes no sense whatsoever, and for a moment MY fears that WRH is just going to stand up and dust off his robes, and MY is not going to have his story fully prepared...
But a heartbeat passes, and then another one, and it starts to be clear that WRH is not getting up again, and that's not how it was supposed to go!! Yes, MY knew that WRH had to be dealt with, but that wasn't the time! NMJ wasn't even supposed to be there!!
MY was going to find a way to stop the war, the Wen had to lose, but that didn't mean that WRH had to die! It's been years and MY had honestly come to respect the man, he had been the closest to a tutor, an actual teacher and instructor like MY had always deserved to have as a cultivator!
Now, now WRH is lying on a pool of his own blood, like he had been just any other mortal. It doesn't make sense!
WRH is dead
And MY doesn't know what to do
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#meng yao#wen ruohan#ruoyao#but this can also be platonic#I have been getting hit with so many feels for these two#that I guess my brain wanted to add to the fun :D#don't mind me
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Good lord I'm so gay <3
#everyone look at how cute my partner is!!!!#I'm so sorry if I'm annoying today I am feeling So much love for Zooble#also sorry I'm mostly using episode 3 images. that's the most screentime they've had so far so that's what I have the most of lol#but also their episode 3 design is so so cute so I don't mind :3#anyway ummmm. giving them so many kissies <3#runs around sk fast I LOVE MY PARTNER!!! :D
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I look at other countries and I'm like "you know what? Brazilian democracy, you're doing great, sweetie".
#brasil#i feel like we take so much for granted#our checks and balances are actually really good#and we have a top notch electoral system that's light years above any other in the world#yes there's corruption but that exists everywhere#but we also have a lot of organisms fighting against it#so if x or y are corrupted there's a chance b or d will do something against it#no it doesn't always work#most times doesn't#but it's still better than the us or a lot of european countries#and no one actually recognizes it#don't mind me#i'm just emotional about everything these days
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Why does trying to pry a whumpy concept out of its original context to use in a different story feel like pulling teeth sometimes
#and i don't mean pulling teeth as whump either#kee speaks#was listening to a D&D podcast and the way one guy described his character collapsing after a fight put such a visceral image in my mind#and i want to write it out but also dont want to just copy the scene#but trying to put other characters into a similar fight or changing the setting of the scene feels impossible right now#idk maybe i do just write the scene that played out in the podcast just for the sake of getting it down
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Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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Sweet dreams, for a time (Patreon)
#Doodles#Parapluesch#Mama Oz#So I mentioned that Mama Oz's grief doesn't come from Literally losing a child in how we understand the phrase#However - the dream sequences usually conflate Feeling and Experience#Thus - this#The fact that her actual function is as a magazine rack is so - well it's a lot haha it's a real statement piece#A stuffed animal made with the hide of a different animal made specifically to hold magazines in her belly pouch rather than a Joey#That's........a concept lol#I just can't see her as a piece of furniture! I know that's her function but no! She's a stuffed animal!#It's so easy to imagine her backstory - a child growing up in that home and having her be mama to all the other plushies#Not used as a magazine rack at all - constantly pulled out of her Utility to a more emotional and playful side#Until the child grows up and she's forced back into what she was made for - her ''purpose'' yes but to have to give up what she became#It's like this piece of furniture was doomed to sadness from conception! Personifying an object to that degree - I mean you gave it a face!!#Hard to believe I'm so emotionally invested in this item I'd never seen before and now#I guess that's good memorable design for you haha#She's also still quite fun to draw :D She's very cute!#I wasn't sure about giving her a mouth since I'm pretty sure the actual version doesn't have one - and some of the plushies don't#But I like the idea of her having a little Moomin-like mouth up under her snoot hehe#She kinda reminds me of Sniff even huh#She was fun to draw lying down haha I can very easily see her in my mind's eye standing herself back up in the Parapluesch animation style#I'm still thinking over how her story would conclude - I want her to be able to stand on her own as an individual#But I want her to retain her desire to nurture! She's still a plush even if she started a bit unconventional#Healthy balance to be found somewhere hmm
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Once again thinking about how my rent is gonna increase in the next month of a half (the beginning of next year approximately) and the new rent cost is simply not worth it for my place and thinking about how the new rent cost is how much it would cost for a decent one bedroom in one of the two major cities of PA where there's more job opportunities and just things to DO in general, but I'm too scared of change to actually go through with it...
#personal#I just hate this feeling of feeling like I'm gonna be stuck in my hometown forever until I D-word LMAO.#I DO have apartments alerts on for Pitt and Philly though in my price range. Looking at my options...#Hate how I'm too scared to take risks like that though.#Also see: I HATE apartment hunting and/or the process of moving.#It's like I can afford the new rent increase so I'm grateful for that. I just REALLY don't feel it's worth it for this place.#My neighbor's already moved out about a month ago because they thought the same exact thing and they told me so LMAOO#Don't mind me. I'm Going Through it...
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